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this will be the only blog i use! you don't have to check any of my past ones xD
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
Belonging
So, after watching Wicked, and going through the Cotillion, i realized how important belonging is to me.
Ever since I was a kid, I was always seen as "Andrew's Brother" I never had my own niche. In middle school, everyone made fun of me because i was small, and asian. No one really liked me, though I did have a few close friends. I just... didn't belong. I came from a different world, everyone was white, or grew up in a privileged family. I mean, it hurts to be outcast, and really have no one to go to, right? I always wanted to be cool, to be part of the crowd... for people to know my name, for people to invite me places, to want to hang out with me, talk to me, and just enjoy their time with me. But it never happened back then. I guess that's why I try to be welcoming to everyone? And Wicked, it's kind of based on that kind of theme, not judging people, and seeing the good in everyone. it's hard. anywho,
during the cotillion, i guess it was a good experience for me because i felt like i was part of something bigger than myself. Like, i was never good enough to have any real importance on any sports team, or any organization where i felt appreciated until now. Like, I felt everyone accepted me, and liked me, and appreciated me! i mean i feel that way a little more in van nghe now, but this was the first time someone actually wanted me to be a part of something important, that i cared about, you know? anywho, i hope this satisfies francis. ;D
i guess my biggest fear is that i won't belong, which is why i kind of molded my life around being someone who everyone likes, and I don't like it when people don't like me... you know? and i guess i try to make everyone happy. haha. oh well.
Ever since I was a kid, I was always seen as "Andrew's Brother" I never had my own niche. In middle school, everyone made fun of me because i was small, and asian. No one really liked me, though I did have a few close friends. I just... didn't belong. I came from a different world, everyone was white, or grew up in a privileged family. I mean, it hurts to be outcast, and really have no one to go to, right? I always wanted to be cool, to be part of the crowd... for people to know my name, for people to invite me places, to want to hang out with me, talk to me, and just enjoy their time with me. But it never happened back then. I guess that's why I try to be welcoming to everyone? And Wicked, it's kind of based on that kind of theme, not judging people, and seeing the good in everyone. it's hard. anywho,
during the cotillion, i guess it was a good experience for me because i felt like i was part of something bigger than myself. Like, i was never good enough to have any real importance on any sports team, or any organization where i felt appreciated until now. Like, I felt everyone accepted me, and liked me, and appreciated me! i mean i feel that way a little more in van nghe now, but this was the first time someone actually wanted me to be a part of something important, that i cared about, you know? anywho, i hope this satisfies francis. ;D
i guess my biggest fear is that i won't belong, which is why i kind of molded my life around being someone who everyone likes, and I don't like it when people don't like me... you know? and i guess i try to make everyone happy. haha. oh well.
Friday, July 10, 2009
fuck
i hate how they always make me feel guilty. they expect me to schedule my life around them. it would be nice for some advance notice. it's like conflicting between duties. I'm big on responsibility, and htey always have to fuck everything up and make me think its my fault. fuck this shit.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Defying Gravity
I'm Defying Gravity. And You Can't Pull Me Down.
Wicked
You should never judge a book by its cover right, because there's so much more to a book than it's cover. A lot can be said for friendship. I wish that I could have a friend like that? It's like the issue of taking care of everybody, but having no one to take care of you? Or not letting people take care of you I guess. Rantrantrant that doesn't make sense. Wicked was really nice :)! You can't rely on other people's experiences. The summation of your decisions and your life can only be determined by your own actions, choices, and experiences. No one can choose anything for you. They can only make you think they can.
Wicked
You should never judge a book by its cover right, because there's so much more to a book than it's cover. A lot can be said for friendship. I wish that I could have a friend like that? It's like the issue of taking care of everybody, but having no one to take care of you? Or not letting people take care of you I guess. Rantrantrant that doesn't make sense. Wicked was really nice :)! You can't rely on other people's experiences. The summation of your decisions and your life can only be determined by your own actions, choices, and experiences. No one can choose anything for you. They can only make you think they can.
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