Andrew's Blog

"Church

I really enjoy days like today. (Skip down for the summary of this post, so you don't have to read all of it, haha.)

Even though I woke up later than I should have (~2PM), I was able to tackle my studying (somewhat) and eat healthily (not really).

For my only meal of the day I had 2 Tiger Burgers (with cheese), 2 orders of onion rings (xxxtra grease) and an order of chicken tenders flanked by 3 cases of BBQ sauce. For a good 20 minutes, I thought I was going to die from eating too much. Then I got over it because eating too much is the absolute worst thing about which to bitch and moan. African kids starving and stuff.

But I think the most clarifying part of my day was going to church. Now, I rarely leave church with any sense of epiphanical (yes, it's a fake word) understanding. At best, I walk out of my pew and depart God's not-so-humble house with a sense of satisfaction, but this time was different somehow.

The priest, who I generally dislike, said a few things that rang a bit more powerfully than I expected. In between waking up Kim, I listened.

Fear of God, of disappointing God, will save you from hell. Avoiding sin, living a devout, moral and faithful life will definitely keep you out of the fiery pits, but any such life lived out of fear is incomplete, lacking full sincerity in our pursuit of true happiness. To feel remorse, or guilty, as Catholics so often do, is to be incomplete. Full contrition requires more than just guilt, more than faith, more than morality.

Morals and faith will keep you out of hell, but it will not necessarily thrust you beyond the gates of heaven. Jesus said that the greatest commandment is to love God with all your heart, soul, strength and mind; to love your neighbor as yourself. Like Descartes's infamously misquoted "I think; I am," this commandment is not separated in two parts.

It is often interpreted as loving God and then loving your neighbor. However, in truth, Jesus is saying that loving God fully is the same thing as loving your neighbor, and vice versa. If you love others wholeheartedly, then it means that you love God. Thus, it is not the fear of sin that saves, but rather, the love you have for humanity, and as a part of that, God. Only with love can the doors of heaven be opened to you.

God doesn't need your love. He isn't some egotistical yet emotionally insecure boyfriend who needs attention. Jesus tells us to love not for God's sake. We need to love for our own sakes. We need to love because in doing so, we make ourselves whole. We are one with each other and ourselves. Such wholeness, such perfection, IS heaven.

And if you don't believe in a "God" whom you can love, nor a "heaven" to which you can go after death, I tell you now: I agree. "Heaven" isn't a place to which we journey, nor is "God" a person to whom your love should be directed. Jesus himself said that the Kingdom of Heaven is on Earth, within you. It is a state of being when all is in perfection. Thus do we find God. Not a person, but a state of being.

Jesus didn't die thinking, "I'm going to save humanity because they're all sinners." Jesus died to show that he loved humanity as he loved himself, to show that it may even take death to love, but once dead, that love permeates and reverberates within himself and should be matched within all humanity. Yes, Jesus saved us, because he showed us that complete love is the only salvation.

So get rid of your conventional views of God and Jesus. We are all inherently equal in holiness because we are all born with the ability to love. The only thing that determines our salvation and our experience of heaven is our ability to continue that love. It's not about being moral, or about believing in "God." These things are human goals and only fulfill part of our spiritual entirety. They only get you out of hell, meaning the most you can be is content. Full happiness, or heaven, comes from selfless love.


Then, after church, I studied at the library, where I enjoyed storytime with Joe Park. Needless to say, not enough studying was done. That's why I'm up now, with Josh Espejo drooling on my pillow.

<3 genetics.






Summary:
God doesn't need our love. WE need our love. Faith and morals keep us from hell, but don't put us in heaven. Love puts us in heaven. God isn't a person, and Jesus isn't someone we worship. God is a state of being, and Jesus is the guy who gets it right. He isn't the Almighty in terms of universal power. He is the Almighty in terms of endless love. We don't worship Him. We just wanna be like him. We are saved not from our lack of sin, but from our ability to love wholeheartedly.

I sound like a douche, but I'm freakin' right about this. I know it."


(It's Matt now)

So, today i had two pennies i left them on my bed, feeling they were useless. :(!

then i went to mcdonalds, i needed 22 cents to get 2 sweet and sour sauces. (damn McD's)
too bad i got owned!!! boy i wish i had those 2 pennies. :( i realized that, nothing is worthless. haha! weird connection to make, but i made it! It was weird, because my mom was talking about how she said "strangers are so interesting!" i realized that everything is valuable, even people. WE're all humans, and everyone should be treated like one. I know i have to work on this too. But someone else said "we all fight a war with ourself, it's part of being human". hahaha

that's just my 2 cents. :D!