seriously?

do i really need to hold your guys' hands all the time?
fuck, do i really have to do everything myself?
this just dissapoints me, how you guys can't handle SHIT.
have a question? ASK?! fuck man. talk to each other, i can't be
your fucking messenger all the time. fucking dipshits.
AND IF YOU DON"T GIVE A SHIT THEN FUCK OFF,
seriously, i know i'm just mad right now and don't mean it.
but why do something that you don't give a shit about?
you're just making everything harder on me.
And I know i'm selfish, but seriously, you being selifsh just destroys
everything that I, and the others, have worked for and search for.
STOP BEING SELFISH! not only are you stopping things from
happening, YOU"RE FUCKING HOLDING IT BACK.
why do i waste my time with you? FUCK.

okay. i'm calmed down after that. okay not really. it's just
fucking stupid. thank god i have this vacation. but you know what?
i can't even relax here because i have to worry about you guys all the fucking time.
shit.

okay, my fault, i hate how there was a miscommunication. i need to work on my communication skills. awewaelfhawiefuhewfwfwiuaflhefiwfhewaafwfewl.

I just finished reading Twilight, the first book in the twilight series..

i find myself relating to Edward in so many ways. no, not the outrageous good lucks and multiple talents, just how he searches for a place to belong, while never really fitting in. How he needs Bella (sorry for spoilers) and she needs him back. i know i want something like that... something you know isn't good for you, but you still do it against your better judgment, just for that tiny sliver of hope that something will work out. someone to fall in love with... to ease the loneliness once in a while. someone to talk to, to trust, and confide in, in that special way. meh. x]