Goodbye Love

BAS #2 Goodbye Love from Rent.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lImhMkCUKoU

I guess this BAS is more about my personal self, haha. Just wanted to blog because i have oh so much free time now. So, this is kinda something about myself! or my past. For all you people who are reading (with or without my knowledge) haha. Just don't spread the word about this if you're not supposed to be reading it, eh? :P

Spoilers! Somewhat. Not Really.
I guess this song is about, letting go of love that hasn't completely faded. Kinda hurts a bit. This reminds me of a manga I read today, Bitter Virgin. It's depressing. And reminded me about a lot of things.

I have these two plushies that hold a large importance to me. One of them is this gigantic white elephant, Lumpy! The other one is a normal-looking teddy bear, Thumble.

Both of these stuffed animals are momentos/reminders of the only 2 "relationships" I've had.
The first one (let's just call her Anna), Lumpy, didn't last very long. But it was kind of like a milestone for me. The first time a girl that I liked, liked me back. haha! i was carefree, happy, and somewhat naive back then. Anywho, after that ended, it was like...the end of an era in my life. I lost a lot of what i think was my "innocence". It was hard for me to get close to people again, and I was definitely pissed. I guess, in my world where everything had been so carefree and happy, reality finally struck. Kinda sucked. Haha. I know for sure, that in that point in my life, I lost something inside of me that made me able to think innocently. Now, at least, I have inner cynicism inside of me. haha. But, i guess it's made me more realistic, yeah? And more able to face reality. It helped me to begin the process of maturing, instead of being a child like before.

The second one, Thumble, is a reminder for me. To never forget the past. First relationship, that lasted for 9 months. I learned a lot, haha. In a sense, I gained a better sense of myself, and of the people i want to be with. I gained some juevos through it, that's for sure, haha. The relationship brought out the inner cynic in me, haha maybe developed from the first relationship. I felt brought down (sorry if you're reading this) by the constant insults, and pessimistic attitude. It was like swimming upstream against a river current. I had to get out. But I don't regret it. The past can be a powerful thing. And it has shaped me to be more prepared, more alert, and more safe when i do things, which can be a good and bad thing. However, it let me know that I can be happy... I kinda miss the feeling. haha!

In the end, I had to say goodbye to both relationships, for one reason or another. But i guess one thing that won't be leaving me is the memories, the experience, and the growth that i went through in each one. I hope i can experience more relationships in the future. And find that someone. haha and to grow more! that too, :B!

too much manga x]





Goodbye, Love. Goodbye, Love. Just came to say, Goodbye, Love... Hello.